Home....

Home really is where the heart is.  The last few weeks have been both good and difficult.  I love it here in Canada.  The beautiful people, the colours of fall, the sense of community of where I belong.  And when I think about leaving this place my heart hurts and I cannot help but cry.......

Then I have those times where I think about the great people in South Africa that I am so looking forward to getting to see again! And my heart gets excited about these things! I think how can I be so very sad and so excited at the same time.

I remember writing in my journal this past year, "Remember this feeling of being happy and content so you will know why you are coming back." I know once I am there it might take me a little while before I am actually fully comfortable again because it is a new role I am going into, but over all I know I will be happy and God will take care of me during these next two years.

I just have to get through this next month before I will be okay again. Having to say good-bye or see you later has ALWAYS been difficult for me! And this time is because my heart is in two places. South Africa will be my home for the next two years and when I am realistic about it, the time will fly by and I will be back here before I know it.

There will be major events that I will most likely miss while I am here, either births of nieces or nephews or friends kids, marriages of friends (I would say family but I am the only one left in my family...), and even deaths.  I am not saying any of these will happen for sure, but they each have their own possibilities.

The whole time I have been home I have tried my very best to be willing to say yes to going and spending time with people.  Not really knowing when I will be able to enjoy spending time with them again. Trying hard to live in the moments.

I have been able to share about my past year in large groups twice this last month. Once at Faith River (the church I attended before I left for South Africa last year) and once at the MCC office in Saskatoon. Sharing at the office was great, it was not only friends that made it to come and hear me share but people I did not know. I was able to share pictures and stories of my time. And after got to answer questions that some people had.  For me MCC has always been a place I feel comfortable and I am so thankful for that community of people who continue to support me and encourage me to keep going.

I will continue to struggle through saying good-bye over the next few weeks. As I say good-bye to one home and try welcoming the other.

Until next time.... go for a walk and see the beautiful fall colours that are taking over this country!